FHM

VIDEO: Hertha Berlin midfielder Peter Niemeyer went to pat the ref’s shoulder but ended up grabbing something else. While the player seemed to be a tad embarrassed, the ref looked like she didn’t mind.

VIDEO: We have an Angry Birds board game, a TV show, a potential movie and now, a playable cake? Daddy of the year material Mike Cooper crafted up a savory combination of Birds, Pigs, and tastiness to celebrate his son’s sixth birthday. Here’s the cool bit: the cake actually works! The saying ‘don’t play with your food’ is totally irrelevant now.

VIDEO: After hitting a clutch shot, University of Florida’s Chandler Parsons got a celebratory towel whip from his teammate – to his nuts! What can we say; you win some, you lose some.

VIDEO: So, uhmm, who’s gonna take the free-kick then?

VIDEO: The Super Bowl without clever ads is like Superman without his red undies: it’s still pretty awesome, but people might mistake him for a member of the Fantastic Four (a huge downgrade if you ask die-hard fans). Now that we got the ball rolling, this year’s highest-rated Super Bowl ad goes to Volkwagen’s ‘The Force’, in which a cute lil’ boy dressed as Darth Vader tries to use the Force to manipulate items throughout his house. Pretty cute. Wait a minute…Stewie Griffin, is that you?

It’s not the most appetizing place to eat at, but it’s all the craze now in China for some really weird reasons. A toilet-themed restaurant recently opened in Chongqing, China, and if the setting does not blow your appetite, the name of the dishes most probably will.

According to reports written by some crazy people who are not turned off by the sight of poo, the restaurant offers normal ice creams and soups with names such as “haemorrhoids bloody excrement”, “chef’s special-constipation black excrement” and the classic “diarrhea.” That’s just nasty. What’s wrong with these people?

You know the saying, “Dogs want masters, cats want servants”? Let us tell you that this is completely true. Trust us, it’s harder to please a cat than a woman. That’s because cats have rules for ehh-very-thing! Do you think you can just sneak up to a cat and pet it? No, you can’t. Thanks to the awesome The Oatmeal, you can now learn how to pet a kitty the correct way.

(More at The Oatmeal)

This chilli has been called many names, including Chilli Willy and Penis Chilli. It was also given the title “Most Pornographic Pepper” by Organic Gardening Magazine. It’s hardly a surprise, when it looks like this:

Although it might look like a prank God would play on us poor guys, this chilli is the real deal. According to the people who actually plant and sell this chillies, the Peter pepper itself is a very rare plant species that originated from the American states of Texas and Louisiana and was only found in the private collections of very few gardeners.

Oh, did we mention that the Peter pepper was also named “The Best Tasting Chilli” in the world? Which straight guy would actually place a penis-shaped chilli in his mouth?

True story: we have a friend on Facebook who posts hundreds and hundreds of pictures of her cat licking its genitals. We’re not down on cats per se, but we really don’t give that much of a damn about the cat, let alone how often it licks its privates.

There are some things you shouldn’t take pictures of, and this is one of them because, really, no one cares. The Oatmeal lists down seven more things that you shouldn’t really take pictures of, which includes the following:

(More from The Oatmeal)

VIDEO: We don’t know which turned us on more; the hot Hooters girl, the Rodeo action or the beer.

VIDEO: With over 62 billion deaths tallied ever since its release, you can be sure that ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’ featured some pretty insane kills. Take this one for example. We doubt Rambo could pull this off.

Is it too soon to joke about the protests in Egypt? Yes? No? Well, if you put aside the politics, you have to admit that Egyptians are pretty determined and resourceful folk. We’d never think in a million years to strap three loaves of bread on our heads to show we mean business. Viva la roti-lution!

(see more DIY helmets at SadAndUseless)