FHM

Shigeo Tokuda is a 76-year-old retired travel agent. He’s 1.6 metres tall, has two children and one grandchild. Oh, and he’s the world’s oldest porn star.

According to Mr. Tokuda, he’s been in 350 films, the latest of which is Prohibited Elderly Care Vol. 45. In some of his movies, his co-stars are his peers; in most of his movies, they’re young enough to be his granddaughters.

His daughter was “shocked” when she found out, while his wife doesn’t really care. “My wife lets me do whatever I want, now that I’m retired,” Mr. Tokuda says. “She’s just concerned about my health and tells me not to work too hard.”

Mr. Tokuda: we salute you.

(read more at The Globe And Mail)

VIDEO: To raise awareness for cancers that affect men this month, some charity organisations are asking men to grow a moustache. Because, you know, when you see a ‘tache, you think testicular cancer.

But some ladies are taking it a step further. On November 18, they are hereby declaring it ‘Have Sex with a Man with a Moustache’ Day. Self-explanatory really.

We believe so much in this cause, that the FHM office has decided to follow this special occasion. C’mon ladies. Be a little sporting. It’s for cancer. Not because we’re desperately lonely. For cancer.

Stop right there, you visiting your hoochie mama down in Australia. Those prickly folks Down Under have recently decided that all porn-ish material must be declared at customs. This is to weed out the really gross kind of pornography, like the video of you humping your vacuum cleaner. Eww.

But rare stash of vintage Playboy? Penthouse? Those vintage Jessica Alba sex tapes? All on the officer’s table. And they’ll probably cook up some excuse to make it their own, like: “That bikini has 30% more transparent material than we would like, sir. Sorry. Hand it over”. The lesson: Bring back porn. Malaysian customs are more… lax. Heh.

(via News.com)

VIDEO: We’re pissed. Really, really pissed. Because it seems some people in Australia can’t get with the times, and want to shut down the country’s first topless hair salon. Where men go for haircuts by naked chicks who just want to make a decent living with their God-given assets. And people are worried about bloody safety concerns? FOOLS! Go back to saving the whales, will yeah?

To promote the upcoming horse racing season, The Gold Coast Turf Club had a brilliant idea: ask 150 women to race in nothing but their bikinis and running shoes for a prize of AUS$5,000. Just as we were going to book our budget flight down to Brisbane, Racing Queensland has stopped the race. Bah!

The governing body feels the race won’t be good for the image of Gold Coast and that it is “totally inappropriate”. Maybe they saw what the Bikini Beach Mile in Hollywood Park does and got a little worried (and maybe hot under the collar).

Gold Coast Turf Club chairman fired right back and said elite runners and Athletics Queensland were involved in the race – not “floozies in bikinis”. The event, which was initially scheduled for 4 December, will also raise money for surf lifesaving. Hey, anything for a good cause, right?

(photos via The Sun, Daily Telegraph Australia, GoldCoast.com.au)

Think you spend too much on booze? Think again. Two bottles of ultra-rare Dalmore Trinitas, so called because only three bottles were ever made, have just been sold at £100,000 a pop, the first whisky to break the six-figure sum.

Aged for a minimum of 64 years (some malts were stored for over 140 years), there is one bottle of the good stuff left, which will be going to auction at the end of October. So, better start saving. On the plus side, the makers reckon you’ll be able to sell a single dram for £20,000. So, better start making some rich friends.

We’re the most happening people in the world! Online, anyway. According to a recent survey by TNS, a market research group with more than 60 years of experience, Malaysians have an average of 233 friends on social networking websites – the most in their survey.  Of course, we might also be the biggest losers in the world, because the survey also found that Malaysians spend the most time on social network websites: nine hours per week. Hey, at least we work for our online friends, right? Malaysia Boleh!

(via TNS)

Lithuanian cola company Olialia (pronounced ooh la la) plan to build a holiday resort in the Maldives run entirely by blondes. In fact, they’ll fly you there on planes also crewed entirely by blondes. Where do we sign?

The company, which is also run and staffed by blonde women, has already come under fire from feminists and local Maldives who aren’t blonde. But we doubt you care. Instead, head on over to The Belgium Free Press and Olialia’s Facebook page to check out their very, very, very effective advertisements.

(via BBC News)

Always had a hankering to party in Munich at the world-famous Oktoberfest? With its beer and ample bosoms, it is every man’s dream. Or ours at least. Thankfully, you can have the Oktoberfest experience right on your doorstep!

We’ve teamed up with our mates at ecoba, Damansara Perdana, who have put together a brilliant Beerlympics event to coincide with their Oktoberfest celebrations.

Team FHM will be participating in the record attempt for the longest beer line, and there’s other mad stuff like a mechanical bull, gladiator stuff, a crazy bungee run, dunk machine, rock climbing and loads of individual and team drinking games! As well as all that, there will be live bands, DJs and lots of giveaways!

Sound like your idea of fun? Yep, ours too. So go along, meet us and some lovely FHM ladies, drink beer, eat sausage (insert your own joke here) and have fun!

Full details at ecoba’s website here.

You read that correctly, chaps. The woman who said she would never, ever do a nude scene has gone and done one. Again. The first time was in The Killer Inside Me and now, it seems, she has done a rather fetching  shower scene in Machete.

Being in a country that values things like decency, we can’t show the pictures here. But we can offer this piece of advice: Google Image search, SafeSearch set to ‘off’, keywords ‘Jessica Alba, Machete, shower scene’. You’re welcome.

In the meantime, enjoy a picture of a teddy bear.

VIDEO:  It seems Katy Perry’s appearance on children’s TV show Sesame Street has caused a bit of a kerfuffle. Wearing her usual ‘unique’ (read: ‘bizarre’) wardrobe, parents were a tad miffed to see more of her splendid chesticles than they’d have hoped for on a show meant for their precious angels. As one parent wrote, “the show was more Cleavage Avenue than Sesame Street”, which we thought was inspired. Take a look at the video after the jump…

The September issue will hit the newsstands tomorrow and it features – drum roll please – the 100 Most Wanted Women in the World as well as a free pass to our 100 MWW party. Yeeha! But be warned, the 100 MWW issue sells out fast.Get your running shoes on and sprint to your favourite newsagent. Or just put on your regular shoes and stroll to a newsstand you don’t really like. Your call entirely…