FHM

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But it requires effort.

Hey, come back. C’mon. It can’t be all beer and boffing.

Ok, maybe it can. But there are pluses to amazing abs, you have to admit. Your odds of snagging a Czech ex-porn star-turned-model is 1 million to 1 instead of 1 billion to 1.

Two workouts to share:

1. Elbow workouts

Assume a pushup position, but bend your elbows and rest your weight on your forearms. Now brace your abs as if someone were about to punch you in the gut. Hold for 30 seconds. Rest 30 seconds, and repeat ’til you puke blood.

2. Side workouts

Lie on your left side and prop your upper body up on your left forearm. Raise your hips until your body forms a straight line from ankles to shoulders. Brace your abs and hold for 30 seconds. Roll over onto your right side and repeat. Rest 30 seconds, and do as many sets as your puny body allows you to.

(via Men’s Health)

VIDEO: Has your lady friend ever left you for another more handsome, more muscular man? We feel for you. Such superficial people.

But fight back. We tried it for one month, and now we’re six foot tall and have biceps that can crush beer cans with a single flex. The GNDs are constantly playing with our rippling abs. We are thinking of entering Mr Universe. Get off your butt and start lifting those bells.

VIDEO: Actually, we know the answer. Try taking sleeping pills. Or tinkling the doorknob. Or ravenous love-making in a hot, fanless room. Or hearing Michael Bolton CDs. Or watching Discovery Science. Or reading The Economist…

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Watch. Learn. Ogle.

VIDEO: Ah, the elusive six-pack. But who has got time to go to the gym when there is beer to be drunk and women to be chased? You could always try and work out from your sofa…