FHM

VIDEO: Ever wanted a talking dog like Goofy and Brian from ‘Family Guy’? We have just the video for you, although we can’t guarantee that your precious little pooch will be able to say, “My owner is the bomb!” without it sounding something like “Woof! Woof! Woof!”

VIDEO: Have you ever found yourself getting locked out of your house? Or you lost the key for the handcuffs after a wild night with your girl? It always happen to us – getting locked out of our houses, of course. ‘Cos if we ever accidentally handcuffed a girl to a bed post and lose the key, why would we want to learn to pick a lock, right?

VIDEO: One minute, you were like, “Dudeeee, check that girl out! She has the perfect set of…eyes!” and the other, you’ll most probably go, “Umm, you guys go ahead, I’ll catch up.” Yes, unwanted erections are embarrassing, but thanks to those crazy cats from Howcast, you can now learn how to hide Mr. Happy. You’re welcome.

Have you ever found yourself in a heated argument with your pals about which web browser is best? If you have, you  have too much time on your hands. But don’t flood your opponent with technical jargon – here’s a definitive way to explain your fervor in a way even us non-nerds understand.

VIDEO: Just don’t. We know this really smart doctor says it’s possible. It’s not. We said we would stop staring at all 36D bra sizes last year. We failed. And we’re the better for it.

But it requires effort.

Hey, come back. C’mon. It can’t be all beer and boffing.

Ok, maybe it can. But there are pluses to amazing abs, you have to admit. Your odds of snagging a Czech ex-porn star-turned-model is 1 million to 1 instead of 1 billion to 1.

Two workouts to share:

1. Elbow workouts

Assume a pushup position, but bend your elbows and rest your weight on your forearms. Now brace your abs as if someone were about to punch you in the gut. Hold for 30 seconds. Rest 30 seconds, and repeat ’til you puke blood.

2. Side workouts

Lie on your left side and prop your upper body up on your left forearm. Raise your hips until your body forms a straight line from ankles to shoulders. Brace your abs and hold for 30 seconds. Roll over onto your right side and repeat. Rest 30 seconds, and do as many sets as your puny body allows you to.

(via Men’s Health)

VIDEO: Why is this important? Dude, did you know the margarita is the most ordered alcoholic cocktail in the world? Did you know women dig men who can whip up a cocktail on a whim? You can even add variations to this drink. One chick last night really loved our durian margarita. We made out. She farted a lot, but hey, we can’t be picky here.

VIDEO: If you are a student, do this in your class today. Get your friend to film it. Then send it to us. We’ll put it up here. And you’ll get the unofficial “You Got Balls” FHM trophy.

VIDEO: Now here’s one way to impress your gal pals. They dig dogs. They really dig dogs that respond to your words. Something about showing your manhood. And the park is filled with these kind of hot, single dog-lovers. Trust us. We know what we’re talking about.

VIDEO: No, kissing while you slobber all over your date isn’t the way. Kissing so your date wants seconds, that’s the way. We should know. The GNDs keep coming back to our office for more. What, it’s for the free copies of FHM? Dammit.

We’re always here to help up your game with the ladehs. So this just in: tilting your head backwards makes you a hunk to die for.

Australian researchers have found that women who tilt their faces forward are seen as more attractive, while men are considered better-looking when they tilt their heads backward. Something to do with women usually looking upwards at men, and therefore finding that backwards tilt gives them hot flashes.

Of course, we tried it. Not too shabby, but as we were walking, we kept bumping into stuff. And girls kept noticing we never cut our nose hair.

(via Live Science)

VIDEO: If you’re Chinese, you probably don’t have this dilemma. But it’s the question that has stumped men for generations: Hairy or shaved? Do chicks like exploring your forest, or would they rather land on a smooth runway? Any thoughts? (Our editor thinks a chest jungle is a sure sign of manliness. Bleh). 

FROM EDITOR: With the headline, I was rather hoping you were going to be talking about something else