FHM

VIDEO: While people like Joey Tribbiani and James Bond are born flirters, you are not. Like us, you’re a bit rubbish, Thankfully, the science nerdlings have our backs…

VIDEO: You know how they say Apple has an app for everything? They weren’t lying. Durex came up with this app called Durex Baby to, apparently, encourage guys to “suit up” by “simulating the experience of having a newborn” just by gently rubbing two iPhones together. Here’s the thing: if we guys are afraid of babies, what makes you think we’ll download this app?

This might freak you out a bit, but did you know that “yes means yes, no means yes” is just one of many deadly words used by women? So yes, women are that scary. But no fret, gentlemen of the world, because FHM has found the Bible for men: a list of nine deadly words commonly used by women. Do yourself a favour and take a read before you say something really stupid to a lady:

VIDEO: You think you have what it takes, or worse still, you think you’re a great flirt, but let us tell you something: being a great flirt is not as easy as it sounds. Not every hot chick will fall for sweet nothings, so listen up people, FHM’s ‘How To Be A Great Flirt’ class is now in session.

VIDEO: Contrary to popular belief, the messiest part about a break-up is actually not the process, but how to divide the stuff you guys shared money to buy. Like, who gets to keep that limited edition, money-can’t-buy 20-feet Optimus Prime statue? Or what about the pet sugar glider that knows how to perform party tricks? Or worse, that beach-view apartment both of you starved your ass off to buy? We have the answer.

VIDEO: One minute, you were like, “Dudeeee, check that girl out! She has the perfect set of…eyes!” and the other, you’ll most probably go, “Umm, you guys go ahead, I’ll catch up.” Yes, unwanted erections are embarrassing, but thanks to those crazy cats from Howcast, you can now learn how to hide Mr. Happy. You’re welcome.

VIDEO: No, kissing while you slobber all over your date isn’t the way. Kissing so your date wants seconds, that’s the way. We should know. The GNDs keep coming back to our office for more. What, it’s for the free copies of FHM? Dammit.

VIDEO: World AIDS Day just passed, and we thought we’d celebrate it by giving you this video on how condoms are made. There are two possible outcomes after watching this:

1. You become so inspired, you promise to wear your safety helmet at all times.

2. You’re so grossed out, you swear off anything rubber for the next century, and bear 10 children with 6 different chicks.

Careful young padawans.

This just in: Women whose names end with the letter ‘a’ have, um, more bedding mates than normal.

Turns out that French dating site Smartdate analysed their customers, and found that ladies with names such as Tania and Laura have more sexual partners than those with names like Doris and Frumpy.

We’re scanning the office now. And planning our sweetest lines on Alina the Clerk and Lala the DHL Girl.

(via Time)

As if your love life wasn’t already pretty embarassing, here’s more news to cheer you up: your ancestors got it on waaaaay more than you. Scientists at the University of Liverpool have found this to be true by looking at some finger-ratio-studyorother that is linked with promiscuity. Something about the longer the fingers, the more chance these cavemen used it for some ol’ fashioned, er, stuff. And from our award-winning research, we found out cave-women looked like this:

Depressing.

(via Discovery)

Got your attention there hey? Never fails.

An Indian website teaches us there are 10 places women want to be touched. That’s aside from the obvious two areas. These are the guys that gave us the Kamasutra, people. They know stuff. An excerpt:

Collar bone
A well-defined collarbone is what men find irresistible. So, why not touch and kiss her there. Unbutton her shirt just a little and stimulate her collarbone with your touch. Create circles with your tongue and give her love bites right there, just to remind her of how much you want her.

You see your colleague wearing spectacles across your cubicle? Go ahead. Try the collar bone. She won’t mind.

(via Times of India)

It’s true. In a recent study, psychologists found that traits such as selflessness and altruism do attract members of the opposite sex.

That describes us. We normally feed the homeless in the afternoons, right before we help single mothers feed their kids. We’ve got the picture to prove it, see, we’re so selfle…

Um, sorry. Wrong picture.

Ahh. That’s us.

(via Telegraph)