FHM

VIDEO: We have to say, this how-to guide sounded awesome in theory. Finally, we would be able to properly let the Milf across the street know what we thought of her mini-skirt. But we’ve been trying this for days now, and we just can’t get it right. Our computer screens are filled with saliva and our fingers smell of rotten tandoori. So we post this and ask: Can you do it? Let us know. ‘Cos for all we know, we might not be such great blowers after all.

We feel it’s our civic duty to let you know about current events and trends. Like: The Chilean miners were rescued. So were Liverpool. And Christina Aguilera is waiting to be rescued. Yes, by you.

And this just in: Oral and anal sex is on the rise. The Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University – *sniff* bless their souls – discovered that more men and women are engaging in aral sex today as compared to a similar study in 1994.

Yes, aral. That’s if you find the O and A-word a little too taboo to utter in public. Just whisper to your bud, “Guess what? Tonight’s the night for aral.” And he’ll get the point and you won’t look like a perv.

Thank you. Only here to help.

(via National Sex Study)

VIDEO: It’s real easy. All you need to do is:
1. Act like a douche.

2. Argue like crazy.

3. Make sure she calls you names and storms off.

4. Snog like crazy.

This ‘female penis preference’ chart below tells us three things.

1. Big isn’t better, contrary to popular myth.

2. Small isn’t better, agreeable to popular myth.

3. Women can’t make up their mind. Bloody hell.

(via I am Bored)

VIDEO: In case you’re fussier than an anorexic in a buffet line, we think you might find this helpful. You shouldn’t be so choosy though. If you ever come closer enough to find out, you should thank the heavens for those lovely puppies, silicone or no silicone.

VIDEO: Let’s admit, when it comes to dancing, men are noobs. Women take one look at us on the dance floor and would rather hump a table. Thank God for those geeks at the the University of Northumbria. In a recent study, they’ve identified the dance moves that make men attractive to women, and put two examples in the video above.

Our first reaction: “Wait, they both suck.” Apparently, women dig varied body movements that involved tilting and twisting the torso and neck. Either that, or science proves what we knew all along. We can’t remember anniversaries. And we can’t dance.

VIDEO: Damn. Apparently, we have to train if we want to be good. Bah! Looks lie our regular pre-sex workout of several pints might not be fitting the bill.