FHM

You know what’s worst than dying? A cat telling you that you’re dying, that’s what.

According to reports from The Sun, a cat named Oscar in New England has predicted the deaths of more than 50 patients at a nursing home! Looks like someone is giving the Grim Reaper a run for his money here.

When Oscar believes a patient is about to die, it sits next to the patient, who then passes away within 24 hours. Before a patient goes, his or her family is called to say their last goodbyes and a priest is called to give the last rites.

Before you look at Oscar and go, “OMG! You people killer!”, Dr. David Dosa, who works at the nursing home, believes Oscar’s ability has something to do with his heightened sense of smell. Dr. David explains that “as cells die, carbohydrates are degraded to many different oxygenated compounds including chemical mixtures with a fragrant aroma”, therefore Oscar’s heightened senses could have something to do with his eerie predictions.

You know the saying, “Dogs want masters, cats want servants”? Let us tell you that this is completely true. Trust us, it’s harder to please a cat than a woman. That’s because cats have rules for ehh-very-thing! Do you think you can just sneak up to a cat and pet it? No, you can’t. Thanks to the awesome The Oatmeal, you can now learn how to pet a kitty the correct way.

(More at The Oatmeal)

True story: we have a friend on Facebook who posts hundreds and hundreds of pictures of her cat licking its genitals. We’re not down on cats per se, but we really don’t give that much of a damn about the cat, let alone how often it licks its privates.

There are some things you shouldn’t take pictures of, and this is one of them because, really, no one cares. The Oatmeal lists down seven more things that you shouldn’t really take pictures of, which includes the following:

(More from The Oatmeal)

VIDEO: You should not wash your cat when:

1) You need to get her high on catnip.

2) You keep hearing her moan ‘nooo’ constantly in a weird baby-meow voice.

3) You know she can clean herself without your help.

But still. Makes for an interesting experiment.